#64

I ended up going go-karting after dinner with Dunj. It was pretty sweet, but I found out yesterday that driving a real car is not as easy as that. V let me go around the block in his car yesterday after we patched things up because I was being a real bitch. Reason? Unknown, a shitload of excuses as usual. Instead of an almost perfect romantic dinner he had planned, we had a pretty sweet makeshift dinner at 2AM. Steak, with salad drizzled in olive oil & balsamic vinegar, with slices of cheese accompanied with wine. He even got a huge candle that repels mosquitoes, and then proceeded to drink almost the whole bottle of wine. Hilarious intoxication ensued. We went to Frequency the day before, not very eventful. Going to Vaughan Mills today. I <3 Shopping. Need to study.

#60

11:11PM passed. Sitting at Starbucks waiting for C to get home. I have work tomorrow, and here I am putting caffeine in my body. Today was supposed to be a full day, plans to the brim, and instead of a perfect execution of it, I became lazy. Shopped in the afternoon after my mother returned from church. I was supposed to rush it to yoga, instead I stressed out and yelled my face off. Skipped yoga, and went down to meet the girls. Plans shot awry after that and — C called so I will leave.

#59

Started the night off in Cabbagetown, at Samovar Room, said to have an old-world Russian feel, and 4 types of absinthe. It had Russian themes and Tabu was the only absinthe. We had that with gin and cucumber, had its ups and downs. The party was a Haiti fundraiser, not very packed when we showed up. After the martinis we caught the streetcar to little Italy, and found ourselves at the homestyled Italian restaurant near Public, only to be told that the kitchen was closed. Fortunately a cute waiter directed us to Classic Pizza, where the pizza margherita was utterly satisfying, but slightly too flour-y. Landed inside I <3 Crépes, tried a euro cream crepe, along with another martini and a latte. Ended the night there to hop on a bus, where a nice man from Tel Aviv told me a little bit of himself.

#51

Moral development? I think its conception might be soon.

I have a new fancy, and I do believe he might last longer than I expect. Neck swirls, am too high. Sleep tight, without those dreams of plight.

#48

My sister is too lenient with me. I tell her that I have charged multiple items onto her credit card, and that at one place the card was declined, instead of lecturing me in regards to the value of money and my spending habits on the frivolous, she tells me that she’ll send another card my way.

Sunday, the day for rest and quiet, I spend it catching up on my work. Procrastination is now a daily habit, yet my work is still completed before it has me too stressed or in trouble. This will bite me in the ass soon enough, seeing as all my midterms and exams are around the next corner. And despite the knowledge of this eventuality, here I am, INDULGING MYSELF.

Last night before watching Shutter Island, I picked up 2 books from Chapters,  only after losing my cell phone and not losing my cool about it. [This worries me, why am I taking many things so nonchalantly?] The two books were Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and On Creativity and the Unconscious: Sigmund Freud. The unfortunate circumstance surrounding the latter book, is that the introduction written by a man named Benjamin Nelson resonates a stronger interest in me than the rest of the pages. Both were picked up on a whim catering to my want for words that spark creativity as well as an aid for the 15 page paper I must write.

The movie itself was great, the soundtrack a bit too ominous at most parts, a backward reeling mystery.

On Friday

Before I start on Friday, I will say that I have pinpointed the reason toward my dislike of Freud’s apparent writing, they are not his words, they are translations, writing is embedded in the artistry of the words as well as the content.

…now I do not feel like recounting  Friday, except that I ended up at a classy lounge where drinks were much too expensive.  And the night before that it was another all ages Circa, despite the fun I had dancing, I should promise myself never again.

#47

Too early for me to be up, but I have stayed up too late. Wanted to get a bit of food in my tummy so I landed at a Chinese restaurant filled with black people, until all of a sudden a huge brawl broke out with tables, chairs, and plates flying all over the place. I could narrate it as I saw it, but it didn’t interest me.

Last night I went to Andypoolhall for the first time, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Favourite drink as of the moment? Malibu coconut with pineapple, but the martinis have more alcohol content thus offering a swifter dive into intoxication. I believe I’ve worn myself out quite a bit that I can be happy just doing work tomorrow.

#44

Yesterday was a good night, dancing and strong beats make me lose myself in the moment. Tonight, I’m trying to calm my heart and gather my sense so I can get down to work. Sipping the last remnants of a Castillo de Monséran Viura. I believe I’ve developped a taste for this buzz.

#41

Instead of discovery of the new, I am bound by old facts. Went to the last rave at the Big Bop before its closing, and although I enjoyed myself immensely, I knew it was not right. Not much feels right ever, but intense moments of happiness always sound an alarm. I am not sure which perspective I would like to take at the moment.

#37

Encountered 3 Brazilian girls on the way to have crepes with my potential future roommate, and on the way back, instead of blundering into sleep, I found myself in a trashy pub with boisterous boys, and later on demeaned by a chauvinistic man who I was strangely attracted to, and came to the conclusion that my ex-boyfriend is in the ‘Bargaining’ stage of the grief cycle concerning our ended relationship.

I become drunk off the inhaled toxins.

#36

I chose to smoke up and then watch Avatar. It was exactly like I had imagined with the exception of some more than just ethical question involved. My mouth tastes sweet, and my brain could only run at the stark clear high capacity view of the world for a few minutes before it reverted to its childlike state of hovering over every stimulus before it moved on toward the next. Always makes me appreciate reality. Actually more mixed emotions. I have this intense want to connect to people on different levels.